Safety Instructions

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for choosing my car for your traveling pleasure.

All front seat passengers please fasten your seat belt. It’s the law, click it or ticket!

Back seat passengers, FASTEN your seat belt. It took four hours, six trash bags and one missing volunteer to find those seat belts, use them.

A special message for the front seat passenger: in case of an accident an air bag will explode in your face and pin you to the seat. Obstructing your view of the blood and carnage. This ride is rated G.

Please look around for the nearest emergency exit. Since this is a four door, you each have your own personal emergency exit. If you feel you cannot operate the emergency exit, please let the driver know, you will be provided with a child safety seat at no extra cost.

This car is not equipped with lavatories. If you have to go, hold it.

The smoking section is on the roof. If you choose to smoke, please hold on tight. 70 mile an hour winds are common.

We thank you for traveling my car. And hope you DO NOT choose to ride with us again. I’m tired of being everybody’s taxi service.